The 30 Years It Took Me To Start Living

Since I turned 30, I’ve learned how to hoolah hoop, ice skate, paddle board, and finally went swimming in the ocean without getting attacked by sharks with friggen’ laser beams. (yes I’ll admit, I was afraid of going in the ocean for 30 years).

These are just some of things that I either passed up as a kid because I was ashamed of my body or was simply afraid of.

Afraid of what? I’m not really sure to be honest.

For the most part it was fear of looking silly, fear of being ‘bad’ at it in comparison to others, fear of any type of judgement from others.

And so instead of just having fun and enjoying it for the experience of it, I sat on the sidelines and watched. I even pretended that I wasn’t interested in participating — that I preferred to “just watch”.

But that was a flat out LIE.

I wanted to play. I wanted to try it out. I wanted to be active and involved and part of the action…but not as much as I wanted to hide my body and not risk having extra ‘eyes’ on me.

So yea, it might seem as if I started living vicariously through my younger self a couple years ago, but that is EXACTLY what happened.

I decided to stop giving a shit if I looked cool, was a ‘badass’ at something, or how I ranked compared to the ‘best’ person.

And I just started LIVING.

I changed the experience of my body inside my head, and THAT enabled me to change the experience of my life outside my body.

Am I the best paddle boarder east of the Mississippi? Hell no!

But I am that gal that you’ll see having a jam session in the middle of the lake, using my paddle as an air guitar like it’s nobody’s biz-ness.

Did my niece (literally) skate circles around me on the ice as I used the outside wall like it was my personal set of training wheels? You betchya. But I had the kind of smile on my face that little kids do when they are having the time of their lives — and it was there even after I left the rink.

Point of this long-winded ramble:

Don’t wait for your body to be a certain size or a certain shape to go start LIVING your life.

Don’t wait until you’re amazing at something to go out there and do it for the experience of it.

Don’t pretend you’d rather be on the sidelines of something in your life when you’d rather be up there front and center.

And don’t think for a moment that your body needs to be a barrier — that it needs to be the ‘thing’ keeping you from living your life.

Trust me, I spent 30 years of playing that card.

I’ve been all around the world and traveled to some of the most beautiful beaches in the world…and only dipped my toes in each ocean when I REALLY wanted to swim in it.

Don’t wait for your body.
Don’t wait for the weight.
Don’t wait for the skills or the experience.

Take your body right now, just as it is, at this exact weight or jeans size, with your current level of skills and experience…

and just start LIVING.